Five Firsts.

This is my first blog, my first online presence. Not a unique situation I know, but I am a very private person and prefer to remain under the radar.  However as a writer in the 21st century, published or otherwise, we communicate and this is an admirable, if not desirable thing. For me, however, it is a bitter sweet experience. Bitter because I will be putting myself out there, sweet because the wonder of technology provides us with the opportunity, and I get to interact with lovely people from all over the world.

So that got me thinking about other bitter and/or sweet first experiences of my life.

My First Self-Administered Injection

Administering a sub cutaneous injection is not that difficult. You pinch up some fatty skin and jab it in fast. Easy, I thought, seriously what was all the fuss about?
I connected the needle to the plunger, withdrew the liquid from the vial, and swiped the alcohol wipe across my thigh. I was good to go, just had to stab myself in the skin. But my hand wasn’t getting the message from my brain and remained frozen mid-air. It took twenty heart-pounding minutes to persuade my hand that it was a good idea to attack myself with a two-inch needle. It was over in seconds and by the time of my final injection twelve months later I was a pro.

My First James Bond Film

For some reason this is an event many of us remember. For me it was Live and Let Die, starring Roger Moore at the Liverpool ABC Cinema in 1974. The cinema is no more, but a powerful fictional hero will live on and there will always be something reassuring about the consistency and predictability of a good Bond film. (Favourite James Bond actors anyone?) 

My First (and only) Radio Broadcast.

Fresh out of university and unemployed, I started helping out in an administrative capacity at a local hospital radio station. One of my jobs was to do ward rounds and collect song requests. I took a bundle up to the broadcasting studio one evening and found the presenter had stepped out on a bathroom break during the 8-minute long Stairway to Heaven. I got talking with the volunteer Tech Guy and we were suddenly aware of silence. The record had ended and the presenter hadn’t returned. 
A microphone was pushed in front of my mouth. I grabbed the first slip of paper I could find and stuttered out a request for Sailing by Rod Stewart while Tech Guy cued up Hello by Lionel Richie. Two songs later an unwell presenter returned and valiantly finished his slot.

My First Paying Job

Potato picking. This involved getting up at the crack of dawn on a cold October morning and trundling off to the farmer’s field to meet up with other village inhabitants of all ages. A tractor ploughed the field to bring the potatoes up to the surface, and we lumbered through the heavy, cloying mud in our wellies, bucket in hand to pluck the potatoes from the ground.
Aged 14, mud had long since lost its entertainment value, and I gave up after 2 laborious days having earned the princely sum of £6.

My First Blog

This brings me full circle. All that’s left is to hit the send button and hope my hand doesn’t freeze above the keyboard. Then it’s done and I have finally put myself out there.
Or have I?
One of the above is fictional.
I’ll leave you to figure out which one.

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3 thoughts on “Five Firsts.

  1. Don’t I love riddles!
    So let me see. I shall start with the “First” that I think is most obviously true and eliminate until I arrive at the “First” which beyond a shadow of a doubt is a figment of your imagination, Lizzie.

    James Bond–You are English if I’m not mistaken, so I expect you did in fact run out and see a James Bond film as soon as it was released (fortunately it did not star Sean Connery as you would have been ruined for all other James Bond imposters). 🙂

    Picking Potatoes–Yes, a 14 year old complaining about “plucking” potatoes (digging is what we did; there was no tractor) in the early morning — I can see that. I’m going to ignore that the farmer waited until his fields were mud before he plowed. Does it truly rain that often there? You know…I think it does. So I am going to say you did in fact pick potatoes…I think the mention of Wellies may have done it.

    First Blog–I have searched everywhere and you’re right; I could find a trace of you no where, so I am convinced this is your first blog. Welcome to social media and fame.

    First Self Administered Injection — Hmm. You may have fooled me on this one with all the drama of needle poised over thigh for twenty minutes. And very clever not mentioning exactly what drug you were injecting (and we’re all assuming it was doctor prescribed since there was no mention of rehab), but I can not possibly believe a doctor sending you off to cure yourself in 12 months with only a needle and a vial (of something). No, impossible. And remember, I’ve read the first chapters of your “TIME FOR BED”; when you were so nauseated over the your character’s cuts on her hands, you couldn’t write for a week. So beyond a shadow of a doubt, THIS is not one of your “Firsts”.

    As for the First Radio Broadcast — Well that was just too easy. Anyone would believe your remembering Rod Stewart because…well, you know…British and all, but Lionel Richie? Who could make that up! Only a scared teenager (having graduated college at 19) who’d painfully stuttered out these words: “And uh uh….up next is Lionel Richie with uhm…Hello” would actually remember his name. So yup, you did that too.

    How’d I do?
    bc

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  2. Welcome to the world of blogging, Liz. It’s kind of like subcutaneous injections, I suspect. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

    I think I know which one is fictional, but I will leave to others to guess.

    Ps, you did well. It’s only getting easier after this one. Unless you hit a blog drought, of course. They’re known to be hard and long.

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  3. I loved this! I have no idea what’s fictional. I believed all of them. Mine will be a first too. I hope I do half as well.

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